I have failed.
I had poured myself out with sweat and tears to then fall flat on my face.
I have stopped believing in myself so success was not even possible,
And I have not let myself off the hook after I have failed.
I think this is my greatest failure – not letting myself off the hook.
The sad part is I have done this a lot.
I have repeatedly failed. But you know that is ok.
You know why?
Because we come to success through failure.
A friend once told me that if I wanted the formula for success then I must double my rate of failure. I thought she was crazy at first but once I started thinking about and applying this concept to my life. It actually made sense.
As I keep feeling like an idiot for messing up and falling flat on my face, God has to keep reminding me that it is ok. He brings me back to the place of reconciliation, where his love overflows and I recognize and accept His forgiveness. But then the difficult part begins…granting forgiveness to myself. It is so easy for me to accept His forgiveness but many times I won't let myself off the hook.
God so lovingly brings me to the realization that I do this, and when I do this, I make an idol out of myself and say my power is more significant than His. But when I give and accept this forgiveness that He lovingly and willfully gives me it is freeing. This redemption happens on a daily basis, as I have to choose continuously to let this failure bring me to a place of reconciliation.
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. – 2 Corinthians 3:17
