Yearning for His Heart

We are starting to settle into our new home with the sun going down by 6 o’clock, hand washing our laundry, dogs barking at 5 in the morning, and haggling in the market for fruit. This isn’t summer camp; this is home. It is funny for me to think about all the different places I have called home. It isn’t that my family has moved around a lot because we haven’t. What I would most instinctively call home has been in about a 5-mile radius. But still in the past 6 years I can easily count about 15 places being called “home” or “my room”. It’s kind of crazy thinking about all the different places God has called me.
 
Now, I live in a church compound about a mile outside of a Jinotepe, Nicaragua. I am finally letting that sink in. For so much of my life I have just suppressed everything that is going around me, especially how and why I feel a certain way. Right now, I am at the point that I don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t want to be numb anymore. I want to see, hear, and feel God’s heartbeat for His creation. I am tired of being numb and being ok with that. For a while, I have just accepted that this was who God created me to be. But that is a direct lie of the enemy. He is a loving Father that gives us His heart for His children.